I Had Hope: A Poem

“ Jesus

I’m really stressing,

Its making my head mix up my blessings.

I’m scared to love.

The only one I found to show that word is real is you from Above.

I’ve been hurt so many times

My heart turns it into a rhyme.

To him:

I gave you my heart, and you had no problem tearing it apart.

I wanted to be the apple of our eye,

But all I could see was the lies you tried to hide.

She’s just a friend, became a daily thing you always tried to send.

I see you and my heart skips a beat, not in the good way though the one that holds me up from going to sleep.

I had hope.

Hope that one day the confusion would go away,

Soon to find out you were the one that made me stay.

In pain.

Pain that you never saw,

Because you were to worried about what your friends would say about it all.

Taught me I should be hidden,

But I’m glad I found my purpose in the one who has risen.

The lies, the pain, the fall I went through, brought me to a place I could have never of dream to.

A place of confidence I could of never pictured was me, But God showed me him and there was me.

You used to be the high light of my day,  but now that you are gone I can bow down and pray.

My worth is being shown in Romans 5:8,

He opened my eyes and I saw the gate.

The gate of something I never have seen, he washed my eyes and showed me he could make me clean.

Gods shown me things I could never forget, but its nothing like you could have ever met.

I’m scared to love again.

Scared to allow another person to see me, because all I see is the part where they flee from me.

God has made me new, that I know one day I will be the one that fits the shoe.

The fit of everything my husband has been praying for, I will be it all, matter fact I’ll be more.

Patience is something that is hard for me, but with all I think back to is Adam and the tree.

You put me through it all, the all that makes me stand tall.

Ezekiel 36:26

Jesus has made me clean, and I’m ready to be treated like a queen.

Jesus was patient with me, as I’m going to patient with the one he has blessed to hold my key. “

Julissa Gonzalez 

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