Yes, you read the title right and yes, I chose this topic for my first blog post. #Real
I remember watching this movie where a mother goes into her son’s room to pick up laundry and finds adult magazines/pictures under his bed. Then, when explaining what she saw to a friend, the friend says “well, he’s a kid who’s growing and learning about things… it’s normal for a young boy with hormones.” I think it was an Adam Sandler movie; I love that actor. Another thing I remember was overhearing a group of boys at school talk about sexual stuff they did/watched over the weekend and wondering if they’ll ever actually grow up to stop being so perverted.
Those movie clips, memories and moments have been embedded in my mind. Not only because I love Adam Sandler movies, or because I was in middle school when I first heard about pornography, but because it sparked curiosity in me at such a young age.
But girls don’t normally struggle with stuff like that though—right? That was my impression of it at least. I thought it was normal for a guy to watch porn and weird if a girl did, so, I never told anyone I watched it. What I was watching didn’t harm anyone, I wasn’t doing anything bad, and I also wasn’t a boy. I personally thought it was best if I just kept it to myself. Little did I know, it would become an addiction for more than 5 years.
It didn’t start as an addiction at first; at least I didn’t see it as one. There were many other factors that played into my curiosity: I would just watch it when I was bored or home alone. But then when I would go to school or eat dinner with my family at the table, I found that it was always in the back of my mind. It slowly made its way into my everyday thoughts and eventually affected the way I saw myself and others. It sexualized the world for me.
I think we can all agree that porn is easily accessible, two clicks and you find what you need. I mean Twitter basically throws it in your face. But why is it that pornography can’t be brought up in casual conversation?—Because sexual sin is eating our generation alive. What we keep secret, what we think is so minor and insignificant is exactly what keeps us from living normal lives. To me, porn was the unspoken sin. It’s something so common and popular…yet… no one really talks about it.
Still don’t think porn is that big of an issue? Fight The New Drug (FTND) is an organization that sheds light on the harmful effects of pornography, emphasizing three main issues that come along with watching porn: its effects on the brain, relationships, and society. Most people seen online are actually victims of sex trafficking being raped/held against their will; pornography makes you insensitive to this violence.
Below are a couple of stats from one of the most visited and explicit porn websites today—Pornhub (as cited in FTND, 2018).
- In 2017 alone, Pornhub got 28.5 BILLION visits. That’s almost 1,000 visits a second, or 78.1 MILLION a day—way more than the population of the entire United Kingdom.
- At the time of a study in 2006, 68% of those who consumed porn online were men while women only made up 13.6%. However, times are changing are fast due to—you guessed it—internet porn. In analytics released by popular porn site Pornhub, women are 113% more likely to search the term “hardcore” than men.
After doing my own research on FTND’s website, I realized that this addiction was bigger than just “hidden sin”. There was science behind my addiction that proved how it was damaging my health (specifically my mental health and brain). Science even went further to show how it would affect any future relationship I’d be in. It gives you unrealistic expectations. It even made me feel horrible when I found out that most of the people on camera are actually victims of sex trafficking, and that by watching it, I’m fueling and supporting the porn industry. I came to the conclusion that the cons outweigh the pros. The porn industry is a much greater issue than people talk about.
So, I became an advocate against it.
Overcoming my addiction to porn was anything BUT easy. I messed up, got prayed for and asked for forgiveness—then messed up again. But the difference was that I knew what I was doing when I would go back to it. It became a choice whether or not I wanted to get better. Yes God had a huge part in setting me free from it, but, I also had to make a decision one day at a time and choose to not become a slave to my addiction.
So how can you get better? We’ll start with the easy stuff first.
- Don’t sleep with your phone next to you at night. Even if it means charging it on the other side of the room. At one point I literally gave my mom my phone every night before bed and she would return it to me in the morning. Sounds childish but, I promise that was a huge help for me.
- Tell someone. I know it will be hard and awkward (trust me I did it) but tell someone: a person you trust; an advocate for the issue; or someone you know that has overcome it and create accountability.
- Lastly, do this for you. Know that you are stronger and more than capable of overcoming this; even when you mess up.
Fight for real love, authentic love that goes beyond the camera. Don’t support the porn industry. It’s modern-day slavery in the way it captures and exploits the men and women recorded. This issue is bigger than you–than me–than us. Overcome the addiction and fight this issue with me. It’s time we are more open about our struggles and help each other get better.
Fight the New Drug. (2018, April 2). How Many People Are On Porn Sites Right Now? (Hint: It’s A Lot.). Retrieved by, https://fightthenewdrug.org/by-the-numbers-see-how-many-people-are-watching-porn-today/
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Praise God. God & The 12 Steps has two meetings at Faith to help those struggling with addictions (drugs, social media, pornography, etc.). Monday and Friday 7-8:30 in room E304.
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