God wasn’t and is not distant. He just isn’t holding my hand anymore. Not because He doesn’t care about me and not because He is upset with me, but because He has been teaching me and He sees that I have actually been learning and applying his teachings little by little.

“Brothers and sisters, in the past I could not talk to you as I talk to spiritual people. I had to talk to you as I would to people without the Spirit — babies in Christ. The teaching I gave you was like milk, not solid food, because you were not able to take solid food’. 1 Corinthians 3:1-2

There is a sermon from Haviliah Cunnington in which she talks about her new book “Stronger than the Struggle” that resonated with me during my season of seeking after hearing God’s voice.

There was a time you were feeding on milk, but God is saying it’s time to take in some meat.

The reason God isn’t holding my hand during this new season of my life is because I’m not a baby anymore. I am growing up and He is actually really happy about that!

Think of it this way, there are fur-baby parents right? Pet owners who love their pets just like their own baby. I got this visual from an artist on Instagram @157ofgemma that draws about her life with her three small dogs. On one of her posts she commented how frustrated she gets because people ask her and her husband all the time when they will be having children, but she remarked that why have children if her dogs are so precious to her and “they don’t talk back or go off to college”. (Maybe this illustration is stretching it a little bit, but I promise I have a point!) .

I can understand where she is coming from; wanting her dogs to be little and carried by her forever is very sweet/endearing but her answer made me think about how different God perceives us. For me, when I think about having children one day, I’m ecstatic at the notion that I can see them grow up and discover the purpose God called them to be! I want my kids to grow up, hold a conversation with me, exchange ideas, and yeah go off to college (or go off and have their own adventures). I’m actually really excited for the day to have them because I already know God will have a plan for their lives already set, as they are forming in my belly.

My job would be to then bring them into this world, to nourish, spiritually guide, discipline and love them so that they can fulfill their God-given purpose and dream the dreams they alone were meant to have. If that’s in my heart for my kids and they don’t even exist yet, how much greater and fonder and more in love is our God with us?

He wants to see you succeed and live out the dreams He placed inside of you, before you were born. And if those desires and dreams already exist in the DNA of your being, why doubt yourself so much?

It has dawned on me that if I am excited about my children to grow and learn and discover how to be themselves (when I don’t even have these kids yet); how much more is God excited for our destinies to unfold before us? He not only calls us children, but friends, His bride and His church. Aren’t we more valuable?

Why would He make us all different and not allow us the chance to make decisions (even if they lead to mistakes)! I used to and still struggle with the notion of making a mistake. I avoid situations that don’t guarantee me safety and assurance (I’m basically placing all of my focus on success rather than living a life based on faith); but I also have learned that when I am bold and courageous I not only conquer fears but

“As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming”. Ephesians 4:14

Maturing and growing means less hand holding. Which sounds so unkind, but our God wants us to succeed and He is never ever far away from us. He has just empowered us by the power of the Holy Spirit to be the fearless warriors that we were called to be. And unless we lose the fear of making mistakes (and when I say mistakes I don’t mean committing sin) , but the fear of walking out and trying something new even when success might not be the outcome. Because the reality is you are going to continue making mistakes, even with the Holy Spirit’s guidance- its not going to all always going to look the way we imagined it to look, after all:

“…Speaking the truth with love, we will grow up in every way into Christ, who is the head. The whole body depends on Christ, and all the parts of the body are joined and held together. Each part does its own work to make the whole body grow and be strong in love”. Ephesians 4: 15-16

Your journey is not always going to look like your friends’ journey. Your decisions are going to reflect your journey with God because “you have your own work to do” and only you can fill it. You were made one of a kind. With a one of a kind life and a one of a kind purpose.

So keep on going. You are more than your talents and circumstances. Keep pushing, keep seeking God and keep trusting that your Father equips you everyday to be the woman/man He created you to be.

Don’t be afraid of your humanness, acknowledging your limitations and allowing God do what only He can do. And that my friends is when we are able to really see the miraculous happen.

Debora Bezerra