Easter is one of my most favorite times of the year. I remember the times I would race around my backyard in my pastel colored clothes searching for those candy filled eggs. I remember the moments where my family would gather around the dinner table, have a delicious meal (and that’s for sure because we are Puerto Rican).
This year though, had some bittersweet moments. I went through some tough moments, vented to God and asked Him some tough questions. My mood was not reflective of the calming Spring colors I saw around me. Instead, it felt as if there was a storm brewing on the inside of me. The sun grew dark and the only thing left inside was: me, my emotions, and God.
Have you ever been there? Situations in which you know the truth in your mind but the road that connects it to your soul is being hidden away and it feels like it’s nowhere in site?
It is those moments where you know you’re about to be tested. This was the Holy Week that quite literally I felt I was going to “…fellowship in His sufferings…” (see Philippians 3:10).
This week was a very deep mental battle. As the days led on closer and closer to Good Friday, I felt as if it was getting worse and worse. “God I didn’t ask for this! Why can’t you just take it away?…I don’t like this part of Your plan…it’s not fair…” That’s when God comforted me through His Word and other people reminded me that I’m not what I feel, but I’m simply who I am.
What do you do when your heart disconnects from reality and you get consumed by your own feelings and emotions? Have you ever been so desperate for answers, crying out and asking “God why do I have to deal with _____________?” It seems hard to leave that place of sorrow and, in some cases shame, doesn’t it? Sometimes, you feel alone like there’s no one in the world who can help you or no way out…but it is possible.
Can I just tell you that while the fight with our flesh is hard, and sometimes burdensome, the victory is ours because someone else fought harder for us? That someone was Jesus. He didn’t stop then and He won’t stop now! That’s the beauty that took place in the Garden of Gethsemane. He decided to drink His cup.
He cried until He sweat blood which medically meant He was under extremely agonizing stress. Three times He prayed: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)
Jesus showed us that no matter what struggle I may have, I can still fight. Sometimes that fight is accepting your “lot in life” like mine, knowing that while it feels like it’s part of you, it’s only temporary. Jesus died on the Cross. It is finished. One day, ours will be done too. We will win our fight and finish this race not because we got what we wanted or have all of the answers. It will be because He showed us anything is possible through Him who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13). It will be because He is always there, never leaving us (Deut. 31:6; Hebrews 13:5). It will be because He is close to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18), He mends our wounds (Psalm 147:3) and He understands us and is always willing to help us (Hebrews 4:15-16).
So what’s the remedy to the battle you may be feeling inside of you? Whether it’s depression, anger, complaining, homosexuality, or the desire to cheat on a math test, nothing is too big or too small for you to overcome because: “greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)
So today take the time reflect on what Jesus did, knowing you too can overcome. Don’t hide from it. Run straight towards your…fill in the blank. Be ready for a battle, but for a battle where you will be victorious.
Drink your cup.